“I will no longer respond to anyone who talks to me while I’m on the toilet,” and 25 other New Year Resolutions


Just a few of my wishes, dreams and aspirations for 2014:

  1. Spend less than $1825 on takeaway coffee.
  2. Say ‘awesome’ more often.
  3. Listen to this 2013 hits mashup every day because it’s AWESOME, and brings back great memories.
  4. Lobby for egg nog and hot cross buns to be stocked in stores all year round.
  5. Watch more cute and cuddly kitten videos like this.
  6. Lose weight by inventing an anti-gravity machine.
  7. Visit this ‘Exercise Confessional’ whenever I don’t get active.
  8. Eat more jalapenos, because they are awesome.
  9. Convince people to sign up to our weekly newsletter by promising at home massages by someone called Sven.
  10. Freak out the kids by regularly making and using food-based face masks like these.
  11. Put more faith in the GPS lady.
  12. Wear my hair in pigtails once a month.
  13. Only shop in stores with ‘skinny mirrors’.
  14. Wear Red Lipstick more often.
  15. Admit that I love extra-cheesy pop music, and that ‘MMM Bop’ by Hansen is a genius song.
  16. Stop being surprised when the kids go nuts at the grocery store.
  17. Lobby for the first Saturday of every month to be ‘Anti-toe cleavage day‘.
  18. Devise a plan to meet Madonna.
  19. Train the kids to give great foot massages.
  20. I’ll stop accidentally getting fake tanner on the kids.
  21. When I’m in a bad mood, I’ll ask someone to tickle me to cheer me up, just like my 5 year old does.
  22. I will no longer respond to anyone who talks to me while I’m on the toilet.
  23. I will no longer respond to anyone who talks to me while I’m in the shower.
  24. I will try to find a more awesome word to use to describe awesomeness.
  25. I will find something awesome about everyday.
  26. I will drink champagne at least once a week, to celebrate awesomeness.


What are your New Year Resolutions? 


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