In Part 5 of our series on breastfeeding in style, we’re sharing a few cautionary tales – things not to do while you are nursing your baby.

I rounded up 21 of my buddies who breastfed in the last few years, and asked them to reveal some of the fashion highs and lows from their own nursing experiences so we might learn from their collective wisdom.

Kinda like an online mothers’ group, but everyone in the gang is cool.

Here, these ordinarily clever women generously share their tales of awkwardness, silliness, or downright stupidity while breastfeeding, so you can learn from their mistakes, have a laugh, and mostly, so you are more likely than them, to do it in style.

 

 

Wearing a dress with no access for feeding.

My friend Tally*, who runs a successful business, ruefully remembers:

I did try and breastfeed him in my wedding dress in New York. It was a deep V neck and I could juuuuuuuuust about do it…the thing is they are a bit funny about breast-feeding in public. We were waiting to meet friends for drinks and the only discreet place to go was in a small alcove in the basement at Grand Central Station…my, how we laugh about it now… but it was def a breast-feeding low…in an alcove, in my wedding dress, feeding the baby.  While it wasn’t really “full on wedding” I sure was a bit more dressed up than the average commuter waiting for the 7:05 to Connecticut…

 

I’m relieved to know I’m not the only one who did this. In fact, I ended up in the bathroom half-naked at my cousin’s wedding nursing my son as I had failed to consider how I was going to breastfeed my baby in a particular dress. All the gory details – sans pics – are here.

Not packing a breast pump when going out without baby for longer periods.

My buddy T.J. who is ordinarily as sharp as a tack, painted an amusing visual in this story:

I had expressed enough milk for an entire evening so I could have a girls night out – only by 11pm my boobs became engorged so I found myself in the ladies loos with my LBD down around my waist, milking myself into the loo – not particularly dignified – but then what silly girl goes out with a clutch instead of a bag big enough to hold a breast pump for those moments! After I relieved myself I continued on a big night out…. I’m sure some people must have wondered what I was doing in there!

 

And my friend Alexis, who has won a number of high-profile business awards shared:

I went to a wedding in a low-cut top, and was planning to go home to breast feed. But I ended up having too much fun and left later. By the end of the night I had hard DD boobs full of milk poking out of my top. Classy.

 

Wearing a top a tad to tight.

Amanda, an old colleague who would blitz it in the boardroom said:

I saw a photo of myself wearing a tight T-shirt while I was breastfeeding. It left nothing to the imagination…I may as well have been sitting there without anything on.

 

The horrors of horizontal stripes.

And my school friend Margie shuddered when she shared this anecdote:

I wore a striped, fitted boat neck top to my 30th birthday dinner. Now, I look at the photos and think OMG!!! My boobs look ENORMOUS!

*Thanks to my gorgeous friends for helping with this series.

I’ve changed names to protect your boobs…

You all rule. xxx

 

How about you? Do you have any funny, silly or downright stupid breastfeeding stories to share?

baby hanger

 

 

Check out the rest of our series, From Milk Machine to Style Machine:

In Part 1, Nursing Tops we found 6 stylish styles of tops for you to wear while breastfeeding.

In Part 2, we looked at Breastfeeding in Public, and found 9 awesome options for covering up, should you choose to.

In Part 3, we shared ideas on what is super comfortable – and stylish – to wear at night.

Part 4, we found 6 different types of dresses you can wear while breastfeeding, and shared some styling tips.

 

And, to stay posted on new articles from Fox in Flats, subscribe here.

19 Comments

  • This is more a what not to say to someone as compared to what not to do yourself… I remember feeding my little girl when she was less than a week old and an auntie walked in, first thing she said was “You got milk?”. I was feeling insecure enough about what I was doing, and had no idea if I was feeding her enough. Made me feel awful. I wish breasts came with some sort of measurement capability so you would know if you did have enough! 

  • Do not go trying on Bridesmaids dresses and forget to wear your breast pads.  If you do, this may lead to you having to skirt milk onto the changeroom carpet to alleviate a) the pain and b) the milk stain on said bridesmaids dress. Rookie mistake.  

    • Oh dear Bern! At least it wasn’t during the wedding ceremony…
      Oh, and can you let us know which store so we can avoid that change room?

  • You know how when babies get a really good suck going, then suddenly detach themselves? Try to make sure you don’t get milk in their eye and up their nose. 😀

  • Ok rediculous but true, When DS was about 5 months I went to funeral and left him with my mum. We got a bitmerry at the wake which was at a club, and all the talk about the baby set my boobs off !! So I grabbed two of the poker maching coin cups and sat in the loo with my boobs spraying everywhere until the pressure had been relieved… I then nearly cried chucking a good 400mls in the sink. That could have gone inthe freezer you know !!! Oh the good old breast feeding days…lol

  • We have a family tradition of training it into the city for a pre-Christmas adventure with my sisters. A couple of years ago when #3 was a baby we decided to stop for lunch at the food court at Crown. With all the running around I hadn’t fed the baby for longer than usual and had the Pamela Anderson look going on.

    So we sat down and got the big kids sorted. I discreetly got out a boob and latched him on. The force of the letdown was too much for him and he pulled away, and a stream of milk shot straight across the table and hit a random guy sitting at a table near us in the back of the head.

    Trufax. Mortifying.

    • LOL! That’s awesome! Did he know? How did he react?? That’s some incredible milk-pressure. Takes the whole fem-bot thing to a while ‘nother level!

  • I stretched a feed out for longer than I should have, so that when it finally happened both milk machines had a huge let down. My light thin top ended up with a nice big wet patch on one side! I really should remember to wear breast pads, especially when I’m in public.

  • All these stories about dynamic let downs have left me in quiet awe.  I used to get stage fright and therefore found it very hard to breast feed in public.  It is not a lot of fun trying to find clean public toilets to feed your baby in. 

  • Was on a press tour on a movie set. Of course it ran really late … I ended up having to go and milk my boobs into the ladies’ sink. Kept being sprung by young PR chicks who were horrified!

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