Cramming for 2012 New Year’s Resolutions

How’re you going with your New Year’s Resolutions?

Me? Not so great. I ambitiously created 26 of them on Dec 31st 2011 after a few glasses of champagne, then published them on Fox in Flats.

I reckon I’m doing OK on about ten of them: I’m wearing red lipstick more often, eating more jalapeños just because they’re awesome, spending less on takeaway coffees, and I’ve stopped being surprised when the kids go nuts in the supermarket.

But now, it’s gonna be a huge effort to achieve the rest of the promises I made to myself.

The situation is sweetly analogised in this chart I stumbled across on the interwebs last week:



Spot on. But I’ve also made my own version to sum up The New Year’s Resolution Process:


I’m currently at the ‘Panic’ stage of the spectrum, and moving into the ‘Cram and Cry’ section. To alleviate some of the pain, I’m re-evaluating the list, and deciding which ones to focus on.


Here’s my list of New Years Resolutions for 2012, and in red, my Current Status and Next Steps. My focus for the next two months is going to be on Resolutions 1, 3, 5, 7, 10, 12, 14, 15, 21, and especially 26…


  1. Spend less than $1825 on takeaway coffee. 

STATUS: I’ve spent roughly $540 so far – 3 coffees per week with the bonus of a chat with Joe my friendly barista.

ACTION: Find coffee machine that’s quick, cheap and makes café-style coffee at home (is there such a thing?!)


  1. Say ‘awesome’ more often. 

STATUS: Honestly, I’ve moved on. I checked through the posts this year on Fox in Flats, and it seems that ‘Fabulous’ has been the word Du Jour.

ACTION: Dump this resolution.


  1. Listen to this 2011 hits mashup every day because it’s AWESOME! 

STATUS: Damn, I forgot this!

ACTION: 3.30pm daily, I’m going to “Move Like Jagger!!!”


  1. Lobby for eggnog and hot cross buns to be stocked in stores all year round. 

STATUS: Eggnog is back in stores. I’m cutting down on carbs. Resolution redundant.


  1. Watch more cute and cuddly kitten videos like this

STATUS: Yikes! How did I forget this!

ACTION: Set daily reminder for a scoop of this furry cuteness.


  1. Lose weight by inventing an anti-gravity machine. 

STATUS: I almost failed Science at school, so the chances of me pulling this off are slim – pardon the pun.

ACTION: Forget this resolution, and eat more salad instead.


  1. Visit this ‘Exercise Confessional’ whenever I don’t get active. 

STATUS: Fail! Should’ve been clicking there all year as it’s been a lazy one for me.

ACTION: Scrap this resolution and instead, walk my son to school at least once a week.


  1. Eat more jalapenos, because they are awesome. 

STATUS: Winning! My friend Lisa’s brilliant Texan-style corn salsa has been key to achieving such fiery success.


  1. Convince people to sign up to my newsletter by promising at-home massages by someone called Sven. 

STATUS: Anyone know a masseuse named Sven???!


  1. Freak out the kids by regularly making and using food-based facemasks like these

STATUS: Winning! Just invented a new mask using coffee, honey and milk. Kids TOTALLY lost it!

ACTION: Publish on site to share the freak-fest and my recipe for smooth skin.


  1. Put more faith in the GPS lady. 

STATUS: She got us lost on numerous occasions when driving around Queenstown earlier this year.

ACTION: Dump this chick, she’s flaky. I’m relying on Google Maps instead.


  1. Wear my hair in pigtails once a month. 

STATUS: Oh dang. I love a pigtail, but they’ve not come out often enough.

ACTION: Create a Style Dare to wear pigtails every day for a week. Who’s game?


  1. Only shop in stores with ‘skinny mirrors’. 

STATUS: Sportsgirl has some pretty great skinny mirrors. As does Kookai, but really, this was a dumb idea. 

ACTION: Take selfies in change rooms and send to friends for honest opinions instead.


  1. Wear Red Lipstick more often. 

STATUS: Goal! Since The Red Lipstick Dare last year, and again this year, I’ve pulled out a tube of rosy red goodness at least once a fortnight.

ACTION: Continue the winning (red) streak.


  1. Admit that I love extra-cheesy pop music, and that ‘MMM Bop’ by Hansen is a genius song. 

STATUS: Oh yes I do! Although I draw the line at Gangnam Style.

ACTION: Add extra cheese.


  1. Stop being surprised when the kids go nuts at the grocery store

STATUS: I started doing my grocery shopping online, and am now simply pleasantly surprised by how much time, money and sanity I am saving. Tick, tick, tick!


  1. Lobby for the first Saturday of every month to be ‘Anti-toe cleavage day‘. 

STATUS: Fail! And since Dannii Minogue has gone on record to say she’s into toe cleavage, I’m dumping this idea altogether.  


  1. Devise a plan to meet Madonna. 

STATUS: My planning leaves a bit to be desired. But I did get kissed on the cheek by Roberto Cavalli, who’s also kissed Madonna. The degrees of separation between us are diminishing Mads! 

ACTION: Add to list for 2013. A girl’s gotta dream.


  1. Train the kids to give great foot massages. 

STATUS: I’d rather train them to aim straight when they pee in the toilet.  


  1. I’ll stop accidentally getting fake tanner on the kids. 

STATUS: Whoop! Winning. I’ve been using this product, and have found a brilliant spray tanner who comes to my house from time to time who’s tan dries instantly – thanks Peter Morrissey for the tip!


  1. When I’m in a bad mood, I’ll ask someone to tickle me to cheer me up, just like my 3-year-old does. 

STATUS: I forgot this one! That boy is a genius.


  1. I will no longer respond to anyone who talks to me while I’m on the toilet. 

STATUS: Semi-win: I have managed to scare the kids away by warning them, “It’s stinky in here!”  


  1. I will no longer respond to anyone who talks to me while I’m in the shower. 

STATUS: Fail. I’ve taken to having more showers with my little ones. We have the best chats while getting soapy.


  1. I will try to find a more awesome word to use to describe awesomeness. 

STATUS: Done. See point 2.


25.  I will find something awesome about everyday. 

STATUS: Honestly? It’s been a cracker of a year, so this resolution has been easier to achieve than other years, when there’s been heavy stuff going on. And on the odd dodgy day, a glass of wine has fixed most things.


  1. I will drink champagne at least once a week, to celebrate awesomeness. 

STATUS: Crikey, what have I been doing all year?!

ACTION: Two months left, I think I can manage it…Cheers!




How’ve you gone with your New Year’s Resolutions?

Who’s up for a last minute New Year’s Resolution cram with me, and which ones will you focus on?

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