The one question that’ll help you discover what you REALLY want

The one question How much do you want it

By Andrea Michelle

 

How much do you want it?

This question was posed to me in a playground by my friend Lisa about five years ago after I’d told her my idea to start Fox in Flats.

I’d enthusiastically outlined my thoughts on what the site might be like and the type of content it’d contain, and had then promptly run through all the reasons why it was probably best left in the ‘too hard’ basket.

Reasons like “How could I find the time with two little kids at home?” and “I have no real online experience,” and “How embarrassing would it be if it’s a failure?

She looked me in the eye and asked that question:

“How much do you want it?”

It made me take a moment to pause, and discover I really DID want it. I wanted it badly. I wanted to try at least. I wanted to give it a “Good Aussie Go.”

So I broke down the tasks I’d need to do to get things running and started tackling them one by one.

I chipped away at it while my kids were having afternoon naps and while they were asleep at night. I carved out an hour here, and an hour there on the weekends while their Dad took them to the beach. I borrowed books from the library and taught myself how to do HTML so I could build a website from scratch, because I had no money to pay a pro to do that for me. And I figured that if it didn’t work there was no need to be embarrassed. At least I would have tried. And at least I could be proud that I stopped talking about the idea and put it into action.

Years later I’m still doing Fox in Flats. It’s now my full-time job – a job that I love. If not for that question from Lisa back then, I truly doubt I would have gotten off my butt to try. Because sometimes it’s easier to come up with all the reasons why you can’t do something, instead of all the reasons you can.

 

So I wonder for you:

is there something you’ve dreamed of doing but have not taken action on yet?

It might be a new business like me, or a dream holiday, or losing a couple of kgs. Perhaps it’s worth asking yourself how much you really want it? And this could just inspire you to get going, and start chipping away toward that goal.

 

But similarly, I think it’s also worth asking that question of yourself,

and deciding that maybe you don’t want it.

 

I took a long hard look at my ‘to do list’ recently. I usually work to a few: a daily list, a weekly list, and a longer-term list that has a bunch of bigger projects roughly scoped out. And I realised that some of those bigger projects that had been sitting there half-finished or never started had to go. Because I discovered that I didn’t really want to do them. And they’d been weighing me down. So I simply ran a black line through them with a flourish. I realised that for now at least, I don’t really want to finish that novel, I’m not interested in doing another 10k run, and those pesky extra kgs can stay because frankly, I’m not willing to give up on red wine and stinky cheese. And I reckon this is going to now free me up to truly focus on the things I want to do.

 

So maybe ask yourself the same of all those things banging around in your mind, or scrawled onto your to-do lists, and see what you discover about yourself?

How much do you want it?

I’d love to hear what you discover about yourself as a result: what have you decided to focus on, and what’re you gonna draw a big black texta line through?

 

baby hanger

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  • Teegstar

    Love your work, Andrea — SO pleased you decided you really, really did want Fox in Flats! xx

    • FoxInFlats

      Thanks Tegan and me too! Yeah, love these pants – I owe you one!!! xA

  • I attended a goals workshop just over a week ago and within the first five minutes I pretty much decided I was over complicating my life by having so many goals on the go and I didn’t really want or need to be well rounded in all areas of my life. I also came to the realisation that I wanted to focus on the areas in my life that were making me the happiest and put a line through the rest.

    While I can’t put a line through everything just yet, I’m working on it.

    • FoxInFlats

      Ahhh exactly! I think there’s always so much we’d LIKE to do. But maybe focussing on the things we would LOVE to do can free us up a little. Love the way you think. xA

    • FoxInFlats

      Be sure to enter the Dr LeWinn’s product giveaway! Just take a pic representing your discovery, and upload on Instagram tagging @FoxinFlats and hashtagging #iDiscovered. xA

  • lauren

    Love this honey, I am glad you took that leap of faith and are bblessed to be able to do what you love every single day. For me personally it would be doing my bachelor of nursing to become an RN, what a step. Xxx

    • FoxInFlats

      So… what’s holding you back? Seriously?

    • FoxInFlats

      Be sure to enter the Dr LeWinn’s product giveaway Lauren! Just take a pic representing your discovery, and upload on Instagram tagging @FoxinFlats and hashtagging #iDiscovered. xA

  • Chloe

    Hi Andrea

    Love this post. Where is your denim shirt from.? I love!

    • FoxInFlats

      Hi Chloe, It’s PAIGE and I bought it at David Jones. Just tracked it down online here: http://bit.ly/VXvYQb I’ve bought much cheaper denim shirts over the years but taht kinda felt yuck, but this one is soft and comfy so I figure it’s an investment buy. xA

  • Right now I know that I want to finally let go of my ‘traditional’ job and boy am I working my ass off to make that happen because I want it big time!! It really shows through in everything you have achieved how much you wanted Fox in Flats to be as awesome as it is xx

    • FoxInFlats

      Work that ass Tatum, you can do it! And thankyou for the kind words. You have been such an awesome supporter of this over the last few years! xxxA

    • FoxInFlats

      Be sure to enter the Dr LeWinn’s product giveaway Tatum! Just take a pic representing your discovery, and upload on Instagram tagging @FoxinFlats and hashtagging #iDiscovered. xA

  • Katrina

    Love this, especially looking at it from both angles – letting go of what you realise you don’t want or what you thought you wanted to focus better on the things you want the most. I’m a mother of twin boys and and a beauty therapist/makeup artist and at the beginning of the year I began toying with my ‘one day’ goal of becoming a Registered Nurse (in particular, working with neonates) and as I was voicing all my doubts my husband asked me the same question your friend did…I’ve just finished my first semester x

    • FoxInFlats

      Well done Katrina!!! It’s amazing the power of that question huh?! You should be very proud of yourself. xA

    • FoxInFlats

      Be sure to enter the Dr LeWinn’s product giveaway Katrina! Just take a pic representing your discovery, and upload on Instagram tagging @FoxinFlats and hashtagging #iDiscovered. xA

  • Michelle

    This post has come at such a great time! Being a typical procrastinating Libran I have been thinking about how I can make the most out of the life that I have. I love reading blogs and always think it is something that I would love to do. I also want to undertake further study but being in my early 40’s I worry if it is too late – I’m now going to sit down and ask the question “how much do I want it”. Thank you Andrea for posting this and also for your fabulous site x

    • FoxInFlats

      Hi Michelle, Ah, ‘The Procrastinating Libran’ I know it well as I am one too! Early 40’s (like me also) is NEVER too late. We are only half way through our lives!!! Create the life you dream of I say. xxxA

    • FoxInFlats

      Be sure to enter the Dr LeWinn’s product giveaway Michelle! Just take a pic representing your discovery, and upload on Instagram tagging @FoxinFlats and hashtagging #iDiscovered. xA

  • You know just how much of an inspiration you are to me. You are one of those very special friends who has helped me discover that I have the talent and ability to follow my dreams. You’ve instilled me with faith and belief in myself, have given me great advice and have supported me so much. You’ve also given me the kick up the butt when I’ve needed it – a true friend indeed! Now look at me: Top 5 Beauty and Lifestyle blogger in the Kidspot Voices of 2014 awards!

    • FoxInFlats

      Sonia, am so proud of everything you have achieved! And feel lucky to be able to call you a friend. xA

    • You are one awesome gal Sonia and Andrea you are just a total inspiration for me as well. V x

      • FoxInFlats

        She sure is! And thankyou so much. xA

      • FoxInFlats

        Be sure to enter the Dr LeWinn’s product giveaway StyleOnV! Just take a pic representing your discovery, and upload on Instagram tagging @FoxinFlats and hashtagging #iDiscovered. xA

    • FoxInFlats

      Be sure to enter the Dr LeWinn’s product giveaway Sonia! Just take a pic representing your discovery, and upload on Instagram tagging @FoxinFlats and hashtagging #iDiscovered. xA

  • Kylie T

    Thank you Andrea for such a wonderfully inspiring article; I took that leap of faith last year when I began studying and I have now been rewarded with a Certificate and Full-Time employment. Anything is possible if you just believe and I look forward to pursuing my passion for art/creative writing. It is truly amazing to see idea’s such as your dream of Fox in Flats become reality and bring so much happiness, joy and warmth!.

    • FoxInFlats

      Hi Kylie,

      “Anything is possible if you just believe.” Indeed it is!!! Congratulations. And thankyou so much. xA

    • FoxInFlats

      Be sure to enter the Dr LeWinn’s product giveaway Kylie! Just take a pic representing your discovery, and upload on Instagram tagging @FoxinFlats and hashtagging #iDiscovered. xA

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  • Karina Lee

    I really want to re-learn how to play the piano again. I bought myself an expensive electric piano 2 years ago and I have hardly touched it! I think it’s time I did or it’s a wasted purchase!

    • FoxInFlats

      Do it! Imagine what an achievement that would be! xA

    • FoxInFlats

      Be sure to enter the Dr LeWinn’s product giveaway Katrina! Just take a pic representing your discovery, and upload on Instagram tagging @FoxinFlats and hashtagging #iDiscovered. xA

  • Great post. I particularly like the striking some things off the list part. I tend to get a bit too excited about lots of things and refining the list makes the few possible x

    • FoxInFlats

      SO true!! I feel such relief after doing this! That said, in the last week I’ve added a dozen more big ones…duh!

      • Maybe it’s like mental decluttering, by striking off some there’s the space for even better ones x